Invisible Families

When I was a child, they didn’t teach about my family in school. They didn’t talk about my family on television or in the movies and definitely not in books. At least not the books I ever came into contact with at my library or school. If my family was mentioned at all, it was to condemn, ridicule, or shame. Why? Because I have a gay father.

The messages I heard repeatedly from my childhood were loud and clear in everything I read, everywhere I looked, and everywhere I went. I must be the only one. My family must be something I’m supposed to hide – a difference not to be celebrated, but embarrassed and ashamed of. My family, and therefore I, must be less than, unwelcome, an outcast, deserving of the harsh treatment because otherwise someone would try to stop it, someone would talk about it, someone would tell me it was ok, right? These messages followed me throughout my middle school and high school years and into college. Never once did I meet another kid like me, never once did a teacher acknowledge families like mine existed, never once did I not feel fear that someone would find out my secret and tease and shame me for it. My family was invisible. I was invisible.

At the end of my junior year of college, after I had told maybe a handful of people my entire life about my family, I was sitting at a computer researching scholarships. When out of nowhere I found an organization called, COLAGE. An organization for children who have lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender parents! I couldn’t believe it! I wasn’t the only one, I wasn’t an outcast! I wasn’t supposed to be ashamed. No, in fact, I could be proud! Proud of Continue reading »

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